Before any of you read this i must wanr you that it's boring and it's more like some crap i wrote down to remember than anything anyone would be interested in ... and im not beeing modest

I've found my glass ceiling which has a lock which has a key which i have ... somewhere ...
The ceiling i've found that doesn't exist has a door in my mind which i know is just self motivation but the key is hard work ... the keyguard is laziness but the binds that hold me back are myself and something i'd like to blame if it'd ever exist ...

I should really start to think of my future ... as much as i joke about it when i actually think about it beeing a shop assistant in a supermarket isn't what i'd be ok with doing for the rest of my life ... So i guess his is yet another journal aiming to find a purpouse or better yet a goal ... except that this time im not just aknoledging the problem ... im actually almost entirely but not completely not going to search for one ... which is one almost closer to reaching an actual goal ... IDK what turned this on ... maybe the realisation that in the 17 years ive been here i actually have been depressed before ... possibly twice ... and have never ohnestly talked to anyone face to face ... atleast not that i remember of which means that it could have happened but thats not the point i guess ...

so what am i supposed to be then ... ive already decided that if i atleast barely pass all of my science classes (physics chemistry biology) along with other crap (german and music) ill be happy as long as i get ok grades at English History Geography and Programming ...
Literature Techinal drawing but P.E. Latvian Economics and Math on the other hand dont matter to me im ok with something on the middle ... so then can anyone tell me what job can i get out of LiteratureHistory English and Geography that doesnt suck ass and isnt admirably boring ? ... I lost my inspirational depression so im gona end it at that ...but seriously any ideas that arent hisstorian (because its boring) or poet/writer(cos you dont read this so why would anyone read anything? )


hoping ill one day write something interesting while depressed yours truly.... ~Reinis